Growing a beard during Covid-19 lockdown? Maybe you should think again. Bearded men were already on the back foot after a recent study proved that men’s beards contain “significantly higher” bacteria levels than dog fur. But a new revelation won't help hairy-faced types to recover their Viking swagger. Dr Nicole Nelson, a psychology lecturer at the University of Queensland has found that children are instinctively suspicious of bearded men.

Getting your kids to go to sleep is invariably a soul-crushing ordeal that leaves you in urgent need of a very stiff drink. At the end of a brutal day, the nightly ritual of baths, teeth-brushing and bedtime stories often degenerates into a maelstrom of tears, screams and tantrums. And my kids’ behaviour isn’t much better.

It turns out that playtime is a serious business. A leading child development expert has revealed that kids should spend a minimum of three hours a day engaged in offline play in order to help their cognitive, emotional and social development.

Think you’re just playing another game of peek-a-boo or hide and seek? Think again. You’re actually rewiring your child’s brain and helping their social, linguistic and emotional development.

Your kids will mercilessly expose the pitiful extent of your general knowledge. Here’s your crib-sheet.

When my son, Max, was born, I began planning the kind of footy dad I’d become – the sideline guru, the tactician, the 5am whistle-blower. As I’d learnt from my dad, the love of Rugby League is transmitted by blood, and a morning kick in the backyard is as normal as breakfast. Max’s place in the local footy team was a given.

Children’s teeth are a tricky business. Their basic acquisition involves lots of tears, drool and sleepless nights - then you have to deal with their maintenance. Trying to coax a small child into brushing their teeth often involves a fretful stand-off in the bathroom. Every. Single. Day.

It’s official – kids around Australia are barking mad for Bluey. They’re busting doggy dance moves and dropping catchphrases like ‘Whackadoo!’ and ‘Dollarbucks!’ daily. Dads are feeling the love too, with some even confessing they watch the show solo.